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Very appropriately, my wife
and I just finished a Love After
Marriage workshop just before
our “love issue” this month. It
was one of the most amazing
and life-changing journeys we
have ever been on in our 16
years of marriage…so much so
that we are doing it all over
again! We have always sought
out and attended counseling,
workshops, studies, retreats,
etc., but this time we were the
most intentional and desperate.
We had let busyness and the
demands of our circumstances
distract us from our marriage for
too long. We really needed help.
Sadly, it seems our generation
chooses to fix and maintain our
cars more often than our
marriages. Our marriages are
certainly more valuable than
anything else that we have to
maintain to keep working
properly, so why do many of us
neglect maintenance in the most
important relationship in our
lives next to our relationship
with God?
Choosing to love
One thing I chose early on,
even before our pre-marriage
counseling, was to gladly accept
God’s perfect gift, my wife, and
to love her unconditionally. It
was my choice and still is. Sure,
there have been and will be
feelings that get in the way,
misunderstandings, frustrations
and craziness, but that’s life. If
God can love me in all my
imperfection, then by his grace
how could I not learn to love my
wife in the same way? To love
my wife “till death do us part”
has been the most powerful
choice I have ever made and is
more rewarding than I could
have ever imagined. She also
makes it very easy for me to love
her in that way because she is
amazing. Choosing to love
enables me to choose to change
.
Choosing to change
In the workshop, the first
thing we learned was that there
can be absolutely nothing
hidden and we had to choose to
change ourselves, not our
spouse. You can bet that it got
messy at times, but in hindsight
those were some of the best and
most necessary times. The
greatest breakthrough I had
over the last three months was
the revelation that change
begins in me and my way of
thinking, not just in dealing
with marriage but in dealing
with everyone. I am still
working on old habitual
thinking, but I am now
experiencing an emotional
connection with myself and I
love it. I thought that could
never happen. God’s love does
change us if we are willing to
receive it. Now I am able to
work on emotional connection
with my wife and we both love it.
Choosing to work
Having the right tools
makes
the
repair
and
maintenance of anything easier,
especially marriage. In the
workshop, we received the tools
necessary to increase spiritual,
emotional
and
intimate
oneness. These tools really
work when we choose to use
them. We still have “strong
fellowship” (if you know what I
mean). We don’t live in a utopia,
we live in a fallen world. I
recognize that it’s a constant
conscious effort to continuously
stay humble and to say “I’m
sorry, I was wrong, please
forgive me” each and every time
we mess up. The Bible warns
that trials will come, so it’s best
to be prepared and ready for
them. I know my wife and I will
always have disagreements. She
is usually right and I am often…
less right. However, choosing to
stay, listen, understand and
reconcile
makes
all
the
difference in the world. I believe
that being equipped with the
right tools gives us hope that
our marriage can and will be
better. We don’t have to settle
for less. We have hope that, with
God, all things really are
possible.
Without question, marriage
is a choice and relationships
take work. With all the
obstacles along the way, it’s
guaranteed to be tough. But I
know with continuous work,
hope and God’s love, it will be
the most rewarding journey I
could ever imagine.
Choose to love, and it will
be the most powerful choice
you could ever make. Jesus
chose relationship with us. He
chose to love us. He chose to
complete his work on the cross
and it changed the world.
Grif Blackstone is the publisher
of Good News, the largest
Christian newspaper in Florida
and president of Blackstone
Media Group, a full service web
design and marketing company.
Grif has helped hundreds of
businesses build an effective
brand identity to help them
communicate who they are to
their target market.Email
Grif@GoodNewsFL.org or call
954-564-5378.
I Choose Love Every Month
- Grif Blackstone -
Good News - Broward Edition
2 February 2014
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